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Welcome to My Subconscious

Hi. I’ll make this short and sweet (Actually, no I won’t).

I really love to write. Ever since I was little, I always just wrote down anything and everything. Probably because I have so many thoughts that scramble around in my brain, writing all of it down helps relieve the dizziness. I also really enjoy expressing myself in my own environment because my really bad character trait of the desire to be liked by everyone tends to get in the way of that.

Not to say I’m a “shy” person or afraid to say how I feel, but my anxiety tends to attack after the fact when I’m sitting in bed and convince myself that every single person I interacted with that day hates me. I’m really good at that; Pretty confident I can convince myself that my own mother probably hates me. I also refuse to go through a drive-thru at any fast food place because I’m afraid of them and don’t want to impose and ask for an extra sauce. In simplest terms, I’m in my own head… really bad.

I hate to admit it, but I can be a self-conscious person. In this day and age though, I feel like this isn’t uncommon. Just having any social media platform is like judgement day for most people, unless you’re the type of person who has no filter and doesn’t even think twice about what other people think, then for that I commend you. But, that’s just not me. Maybe I can put on a good front if you’re reading this and are thinking “That doesn’t sound like her”, but that’s a lot of credit I’m giving myself to think anyone is even reading this and if you are, you’re probably my mother and I’d like to let you know that I don’t actually think you hate me, ok?

Back to the point, all of this being reasons as to why I’ve resorted to writing, A LOT. I don’t share what I write with people, so therefore, don’t have to worry about people. I do though, feel like I have a passion for writing and sometimes find an ounce of courage to share what I write.

 I have thought about making my own blog, but even that feels like I’d be stepping off a cliff and falling into a pool of judgement, so I have always quickly retracted. However, when my boyfriend came up with the idea to create a public blog and allow me to write, I couldn’t resist. Finally, someone with the balls to do what I couldn’t do… I’ve been waiting?

Now I’m not saying I’m going to resort to this being my diary (I don’t have one of those if you are wondering, but if you do that’s totally cool. Thinking about that, maybe I should invest in one). ANYWAY, I’ll being writing about pretty much anything… Except sports. Sorry, you’re looking at the wrong persons feed if that’s what you’re looking for, try LITERALLY anyone else here.

If you’re still here, thank you mom. But seriously, stay tuned for miscellaneous, somewhat comical yet controversial posts from me. They won’t all be this long. I may make you sign a disclaimer to agree not to hate me after reading my posts, though. I don’t know yet.

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